Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Bend the nightmare

I had another dream about Hawthorne. He was sitting at the riverside when I showed up, his back turned to me. As I approached, he smiled up at me.

"Hello, Tia," he said.
"Hey, Hawthorne," I said as I sat down next to him.

It was night, just like the first time I'd come there a few days earlier. Again, the moonlight made it just bright enough to see.

"You know," I said, "I'm kind of curious... is it night here because it's night in the real world?"
Hawthorne shook his head. "No, it is always night here. As a matter of fact, it's around seven o'clock in your world. The 'real world,' as you call it."
I groaned. "Great. I only meant to sleep for an hour."
Hawthorne shrugged. "I could wake you if you wanted."
"No, I think I'd be okay spending a while here. It's not like I've got anything better going on in real life."
Hawthorne laughed. "Very well," he said, nodding. "Now..." He shifted uncomfortably. "I suppose I should tell you something. This place, the River, is my domain. It is the world I share with my kin." He adjusted his tie. "I do not know what the Eye's domain is like, nor do I know if I would be able to go there were the Eye to take you."
"So if the eye monster got me, you'd be stuck here."
Hawthorne pursed his lips. Finally, he went on, "Well, yes, to oversimplify somewhat. What this means is that we cannot risk allowing the Eye to learn whatever secret is drawing it to you."

I was starting to say something, I forget what, when Hawthorne stood up and waded across the creek. When he reached the other side, he motioned for me to do the same, so I shrugged and walked across. As I neared him, he took my hand and pulled me the rest of the way across.

After we had both forded the creek, Hawthorne turned to me again and said. "Tia... I need to be clear with you."
"You wrote that poem the other week?"
"What?" Hawthorne asked, blinking. "Well, I did, but that is wholly beside the point. No, what I was about to say was that no real danger can befall you here, as you have only entered this world through dreaming. However, the thing I am about to show you may be..." He grimaced. "Upsetting. If you do not wish to proceed, we may certainly return to my own tributary."
I stared at him. "Why didn't you tell me this before I got my feet soaking wet, exactly?"
Hawthorne shrugged. "Absentmindedness."
I sighed. "Well, it's just a dream. I've had nightmares before, and hey, at least I can control this one."
"Right. Just a dream," Hawthorne said, smiling uncomfortably. He cleared his throat. "Now, on to the next tributary. It is time for us to meet the Parasite."

He said nothing more as we walked across the murky black creek with its rotting stones that separated us from whatever this Parasite was. I didn't have the heart to prompt him.

After we had crossed, a low growl came from the right. It sounded hateful and inhuman. Hawthorne turned to the source of the sound, and although I was all but paralyzed, I slowly did the same.

It was me. She had fresh blood around her mouth and dried blood on her hands, a feral expression and torn clothing, but it was me.

She stared at me for a long time with those hungry eyes of hers. Then, suddenly, she laughed. It was a surprising noise to hear coming from her, even though it was still far from comforting. "Tia Bravo Fuertes," she said. "Tia the brave and strong. Are you truly so foolhardy to cross me?"

As I stared at the Parasite, I saw flashes of imagery. It was... honestly really disturbing. I saw myself performing countless acts of violence until I was just as bloody and bestial as the Parasite- until we were one and the same.

I reeled back. Hawthorne took me by the shoulder and held me steady.

The Parasite laughed. "You always were soft, Hawthorne." Her amused expression remained as she stalked forward and grabbed Hawthorne by the throat. "Why did you come here?"
Hawthorne turned to face me and nodded weakly.
The Parasite squinted at me. "Interesting," she said after a few moments. She dropped Hawthorne, leaving me to catch him. "So you came here for her sake. And why was that, exactly? You wanted to leave her with thoughts of her murdering her family one by one?" Her lips curled back in a ghastly approximation of a smile. "Because if so, well, you've gotten much more interesting than I realized."

I turned to Hawthorne, not saying anything but hoping my expression would convey the question I had for him- namely, "what the hell is this weirdo talking about?"
Hawthorne nodded at me, his eyes wide, which I took to mean "I'm terrified too, but I know slightly more about this situation than you and I can explain later."

Hawthorne turned back to the Parasite, who had been watching our brief exchange of glances with amusement. "Far from it, Parasite. Actually, I thought you might be able to help us with a problem we've been having."

The Parasite tilted her head, the air of detached amusement she'd had this entire time suddenly replaced with genuine confusion. "Why..." She stared at me, as though I had any idea what Hawthorne was thinking. Finally, she turned to Hawthorne once more. "Why would you think that?"
"Well, um, you see... Tia's being pursued by the Eye."
The Parasite glanced around paranoically, as though the eyes would suddenly appear in the sky like they had in the dream a few days prior. "Well, I'm a part of you just as much as he is," she said, jabbing a finger at me as she spoke. "That's why I'm taking on your form. It's traditional for us to take on our hosts' appearances. Of course, Hawthorne here is a sentimental sort, so he's sticking with his Quentin pal." She cleared her throat. "Point is, if you think the Eye is after me... or that it's after you because of me in some indirect way..." Her face contorted into one of her now-usual grins. "Well, you might just be onto something."
Hawthorne nodded. "Thank you."
The Parasite nodded in turn. "Now, I will require some sort of payment for my services. We don't have to figure anything out just yet, but... well, just think about it." She patted me on the head and walked away, vanishing into the night.

Hawthorne and I walked back to his creek in silence. When we finished crossing the second creek, I finally asked, "Hawthorne... she said I was her host, right?"
Hawthorne nodded gravely. "Unfortunately, yes, you are. I felt I had to inform you, but... well, the Parasite can be an unnerving individual, and it was difficult to properly explain."
"You can say that again," I said as I sat down, took off my wet shoes, and set them beside me.
Hawthorne sat down beside me. "It is uncommon for two Dying Man shards to share a host. Most cases of the sort end in one absorbing the other. However, for all her talk, the Parasite is ultimately just as weak as I am, and would no doubt fail to absorb me if she attempted to do so. In fact, unlike any other shard I have ever met, she cannot control those she possesses, only show them strange and disturbing images. Her hosts usually end up fighting so hard to convince themselves they don't want to act on what they see that they crack under the pressure, one way or another."
I shuddered. "Thanks for that thought, Hawthorne."
He smiled awkwardly and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I am sure you will be able to deal with her in the coming days. You simply need to remember not to take what she shows you personally."
I mulled it over. "Like quicksand, kind of. Harder you struggle, faster you sink."
He nodded.

In spite of what I'd just witnessed, being near Hawthorne made me feel a lot safer. I don't know why. Even in my dreams, I'd only ever met him once before, not counting the poem he'd supposedly written for me. Well, probably it was because he seems pretty nice. ("Seems." Weird way of phrasing it, considering that implies he's real. You get what I mean.)

So I laid down on the soft grass of the riverside and went to sleep just as I woke up in real life.

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