The River

I had a dream last night, because apparently nothing happens to me in real life anymore, that I was walking home from work when I saw a tall, thin man with eyes all over his body. He wore a white suit, a white shirt, a white tie, white pants, and white shoes. All of it was spotless and unwrinkled, immaculate but otherworldly. He looked like he was made of bones.

There were a thousand eyes staring down at me from the sky. They looked... I don't know, angry or judgmental or something. They certainly didn't look happy.

I felt a hand on my shoulder. Turning around, I saw it belonged to a young man in a black suit and a red tie. He looked terrified.

"The Eye is watching," he said.

"No shit. Who are you?" I replied, backing away.

"There is no need to be rude," he said, frowning. "I am Hawthorne, and you are in danger. Come with me."

I rolled my eyes. "Okay, I'll bite. It's just a dream anyways."

He snapped his fingers, and suddenly the two of us were beside a creek.

Hawthorne sat down and motioned for me to join him. I did so.

"Allow me to introduce myself properly," he said. "My name is Hawthorne, as I have mentioned. I am a fragment of a dead god called the Dying Man. We are the enemies of Judgment, the man in the white suit, and of the Eye. The two are... one and the same, in a way."

"...Sorry, what?" I said, scooching away. "You're part of a dead god and you hate some kind of freaky eye monster whose human form is that weirdo we saw?"

He nodded.

"Okay," I said, rolling my eyes, "is that guy a god too?"

He nodded again.

"You're shitting me."

He shook his head.

"Christ. So you're some kind of demon or something and you're enemies with a god with a billion eyes."

He sighed. "Admittedly, I suppose you could call me a demon. But I am not evil. After all, the light can reveal secrets which are hidden for good reasons."

I raised an eyebrow. "Right."

I stood up and paced around. "This whole thing is stupid. What even is this place?"

Hawthorne stood and said, "This is the River, where Dying Man shards like myself live. When the Dying Man was still alive, it was an ocean, but it split apart into tributaries and streams when he broke apart. You see, each of us has our own tributary on the River. I am, admittedly, a relatively minor shard." He gestured at the creek before us, which was fairly small. Someone who wanted to probably could have forded it easily. "Accordingly, my tributary is minor. If I were to absorb another shard, my power would grow and my tributary would absorb theirs."

I stared at him. "You can absorb other shards?"

Hawthorne shrugged awkwardly. "Yes, but I have never done so myself in the twenty-odd years I have been my own individual, apart from the Dying Man as a whole. To absorb another shard would be akin to one human killing another and taking their belongings."

We walked in silence for a few minutes along the riverbank. The creek itself was clear, but there were no fish or plants in the water, just rocks on the bottom. It was fairly dark out, but the moonlight was just bright enough for us to see. It didn't hurt that the sky was clear, just like the creek, with no clouds to be seen.

I'll admit, I stole a few glances at Hawthorne while he was walking ahead of me and wasn't paying attention. He was good-looking, even if nothing he said made a lot of sense.

Speaking of which, Hawthorne said another bizarre thing when I sat down and he decided to join me.

"You see, Tia," Hawthorne said, "the Eye is an embodiment of judgment. It is light incarnate, just as we Dying Man shards are shadow incarnate."

Squinting at Hawthorne, I asked, "And this translates to what exactly?"

"Well..." Hawthorne trailed off, pursing his lips. "I suppose the clearest way in which I could explain this would be to give an example. Some time ago, the Eye was searching for me. That was when I was with the man from whom I took my..." He gestured down at himself. "Well, my current appearance. His name was Quentin Crow."

"...Metal."

Hawthorne tilted his head. "Sorry?"

"Never mind. So, the Eye was looking for you?"

"Indeed. I was its prey; it was only when I controlled Quentin that it could sense my presence and come after the two of us. You see, Dying Man shards are capable of taking control of the humans who act as their hosts, but I myself rarely want to do so. Not only does it interfere with my host's autonomy, but it makes both of us targets for the Eye."

"So... you're saying you possess people?"

Hawthorne nodded. "Unfortunately, yes. You see, I cannot have a body of my own, and just as is true of every other Dying Man shard, I long to regain what I once had when we were whole." He stood up and paced around, kicking loose rocks as he walked. It was kind of endearing, seeing him act so sulky. After a while, he continued, "However, I have seen some of the other shards that exist, and I do not know I would like to create a being that contains them, regardless of how convenient it would be for me to have a form of my own again."

Sighing, Hawthorne leaned down and took a rock from the ground, then skipped it across the creek. It made it all the way across. I've never been any good at skipping rocks, so I have no idea how impressive that was, but Hawthorne had a goofy smile on his face when he turned to face me. "We could always have more conversations in the future. I would not be interrupting anything, am I?"

"No," I said, returning the smile. "You wouldn't." My smile faded as I considered something. "So... you don't have a body, but you can't control anyone else's because you're worried the Eye would come after you?"

"Yes," said Hawthorne, frowning. He scratched his chin. "But then, the Eye was already stalking you. Evidently, you are its prey as well."

"And why's that?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Hawthorne pursed his lips. "Most likely, you are keeping some sort of secret which the Eye wants to learn. Could you think of anything to that effect?"

I considered the matter. Thing is, I'm trans, and I live in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. I moved to Atkins after I'd already transitioned, and I didn't tell anyone here about it.

I mean, my friends Shan and Fiona are in a gay relationship, and everyone here has been accepting of them. I guess they'd probably be okay with me too.

Still, it's just... really draining to come out to people in my experience, even if you know it'll probably be okay.

"I've got one idea," I said after a while.

Hawthorne nodded. "You do not have to tell me if you do not wish to do so. I am sure that, whatever your secret may be, you are right to keep it."

I smiled. "For a demon, you're pretty nice."

"Er... thank you," Hawthorne said. Giving me a small, awkward wave, he said, "Well, goodnight, Tia."

I woke up after that, but I fell asleep again soon after.